think know that when I go to Germany the main person I will miss is my BFF Jake Dotson. He is so amazing and even though he insults me every few seconds I still think he is the coolest person the Chico Milky Way galaxy has ever had live in it. He is really attractive and I love how muscular he is. Also, he has a really nice forehead and haircut. He legitimately has the best taste in music plus he reintroduced me to MIKA so he has a lot of swag.
The coolest part about Jake is that he has the best family on the planet, and the best brother, and the best house, and the best alpacas. Why is he so cool? Why didn’t I get to be as cool as he is? My life sometimes feel like its hopeless when I compare it to Jake’s life.
He has high hopes for his future and I just know he will get into Stanford and not have to go to community college or anything like that. He is kind and never insults me and is just the type of friend that everybody needs. He is so perfect.
*voice drips with sarcasm*